dylansmom's Diaryland Diary

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i've created a monster

What have I done?

Dylan seemed to be on track to start sleeping through the ENTIRE night (i.e. 10 1/2 to 11 hours straight) any time now. He'd already accomplished it several times, in fact.

And yes, it freaked me out and I frantically ran to his room several times to make sure he was still breathing. Because that's the big irony of being a new mom--first you wish your baby would sleep more so you could sleep, then when the baby DOES sleep more, you're so scared something might be wrong with them that you still don't sleep. God is laughing at us.

Anyway.

As I said, Dylan was well on his way to sleeping through regularly, it seemed.

BUT THEN, he got a bad cold and an ear infection a few weeks ago. Plus, he seemed to be going through a growth spurt. He was waking up a couple of times a night, partially because he was so congested he could barely breathe, but apparently also because he was HUNGRY, since as soon as I put saline drops in his nose and/or suctioned out the snot so he could halfway breathe, he latched on and nursed for 20 minutes at a time before easing back to sleep again. Again, we're all good--this was a departure from normal, but he wasn't feeling well, so that was okay. It was more important to make sure he was taken care of while he was sick.

But now, my darling son, he is all better. Yet he is still waking me up 1-2 times a night, without fail, sometimes only a couple of hours after I put him down to bed. And he's only nursing a little bit, like I'm just a really big pacifier. And he sometimes just DOES NOT want to go back to sleep in his crib, at least not until after I hold him close, turn on his favorite lullaby CD and rock him into submission. Then he'll go down peacefully with his pacifier and his favorite blue blankie.

I believe that my efforts to soothe my son back to sleep have taught him that getting up in the middle of the night is FUN, because it means Mommy will do ANYTHING, including unnecessary offerings of the boob and special cuddlings in the rocking chair, to get the baby back to sleep so Mommy can get back to sleep herself.

Crap. Here I thought I'd had it made, since I'd never really had a "sleep issue" with Dylan before. And now I've created one. And I will need to be very disciplined in order to uncreate it.

This is bad, as discipline is not my strong point. But I guess this will be good preparation for future parenting fun.

God help me.

9:03 a.m. - 2005-11-22

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